From the desk of P.O.O.P.

Plutocratic Oligarchs Oblivious to the Public.

It has come to our attention in recent times that profits are taking a hit. The public is getting smart to civil forfeiture as well as excessive ticketing. Due to this fact. 

It was once thought that by lowering IQ standards for police recruits. That we could save money by under paying, and increase municipal profit. Also by passing laws in so called faux Patriot Acts. Up profits by legalizing these buffoons to commit theft upon any citizen they stop.  These buffoons are so stupid. That they are dominated by the mostly dormant(in higher iq groups)reptile lower brain. Therefore unable to control violent tendencies, and sexual urges. As seen with all the recent killing of suspects in misdemeanor arrest stops. Sparking protest, which these morons have forgotten is still legal, until we fix that. So they brutalize protestors but run from the armed looters that show up. Giving our institutions a bad name, causing stocks and profits to plummet. 

Another problem, the lack of control of sexual urges. Protest groups are using concentrated female pheromone bombs, as well as naked female streakers. Causing the officers to go into a mass heat, and have sexual intercourse with everything that has or can be made to have an oraface. This is unacceptable.

Recently 20 police officers fell for this ruse. And in doing so failed to follow orders of a corporate officer. Failed to secure the interest of corporate profit(the ravioli). And sexually assaulted a CEO, and 3 pieces of corporate property. These 20 officers have been rounded up, and destroyed by the new laser mounted on the USS Ponce. Which at approximately .59 cents per shot. Was very cost effective as punishment. 

Meanwhile. We are looking into Chinese made Depo Provera. Used mainly as a birth control method. In females. When injected into males, it causes a form of chemical induced castration. For about 90 days. We will tell the officers they are steroids. This should foil the pesky protest groups.

Thank You.

P.O.O.P.

This is for all those who are stuck in food service and box store retail bullshit, despite getting an education. Fuck CEO

http://youtu.be/MsE5NAAU39k

Chef a short bio

Oh Chef. A life in brief. For the upcoming treatment on Celebrity Rehab.

Our friend Chef. A devout follower of the original FOOD Network. Thought that it would be easy, breezy. 2 years in culinary school, and rock star status and big bucks. Not so. More a twisted tragedy. All too common in the field of food.

When chef first started, he was a married Christian with two kids. A classic nuclear family at age 20. Things did not bode well at first. 60 grand in loans for school and feeding said family. And upon graduation hired as line cook. For 10 dollars per hour. Chef over time went into a state of degeneration. For he was determined not to be one of the fabled 3/4 of culinary grads that change careers. Within 5 years of leaving school.

The cuts, the burns, the stress, the real Chef, and Sous Chef constantly yelling, and using physical violence on the staff. This appealed to his repressed desires. And the fact that when you finally become Chef you only cook to show off on tv. The Sous Chef below Chef cooks a little on the line but not much. Plus the constant drug use, and drinking on the job, and sex with loose servers in walk in coolers was amazing. And that was just as a line cook. When the Chef and Sous Chef finally overdosed on Rustoleum spraypaint. Line Cook Became Chef. And groupies known as foodies would give him drugs and sex.

Chef finally learned the business end. When Ceo told him and the General Manager to instruct the Marmitons(chef assistants/dish washers) to obtain food in nightly thieving raids. This Viking/Mongolish behavior appealed to Chef. And not spending much on food cost. Results in a bonus check that gets larger as it ascends the corporate ladder. Sometimes Chef using his bit of celebrity. simply would walk in to a local supermarket. Fill a shopping cart with food and booze. And simply walk out. And the store management would dare not abuse a celebrity. For he would occasionally due a cooking demo there. That attracted customers. Increasing their bonus as well.

Also Chef learned to get a labor cost bonus. By firing all legal documented workers, and exploiting undocumented refugees and such. Basically a form of indentured servitude. 5 dollars per hour under the table. Sometimes just 200 dollars flat, for unlimited hours a week. When off course anyhow the fine 75 dollar and up a plate establishment paid in rubber checks mostly anyhow. Chef was paid in drugs a lot, and lived in a rooming house.

To sum it up. Chef lost his family and his formal life on a lie, a fraud a scam. And wound up sexually assaulted by 20 police officers. In a food cost scam gone awry. Which resulted in high medical bills. And Chef being fired. Luckily we have picked him up to be on Celebrity Rehab.

Presenting the George Zimmerman Mobilty Assistance Scooter by Bobcat

Are you tired of feeling vulnerable while on your mobility assistance scooter. Whilst patrolling the streets for scum? 

Do you feel a little slow on the draw, due to having to reach under your overhang to draw your piece? 

Tired of body armor, not coming in 5xl?

Then Bobcat has the mobility assistance scooter for you.

A Bobcat, with the cockpit enclosed in bullet resistant plexiglass. With a side window to hit the drive thru window. 

Eco friendly hybrid can be ran on gasoline. Better yet and more economical turn that fast food into fuel, with our built in toilet in the seat. Using the methane you create as fuel. How cool?

Now for the goodies. Armed with dual m-60's securely mounted above the headlights. With one in the back. Dual grenade launchers as well in front. And for those pesky protestors. Just back up to them. Let loose your choice of intense methane flame. At up to 20 feet long, 5 feet high and 8 feet wide. Able to burn so long as you keep going number two. Or for non lethal riot control. Just belch out a spray of excrement. 

"I'm George Zimmerman and I ride this everyday."

A steal at 99 dollars a month. And the newly elected congress and senate promise to make it covered by major health insurance.

Celebrity Chef and his Marmitons, jobless to appear on Celebrity Rehab.

Hello fellow foodies. It is sad day for us. Perhaps a new beginning. CEO has fired Chef and his staff in a cost cutting move. Chef has been piled with tens of thousands in medical bills. Currently awaiting his turn on Celebrity Rehab. Chef had no health insurance as CEO thought it was an excess expense. A doctor at Elm Street Clinic ran by the local Health Department, has stated that Chef is lucky to be alive. At age 28 some of his physical features are that of a man of 98. The doctor speculates that rehab might be too dangerous for Chef. Chef's system has become dependent on massive all day dosing of opiates, alcohol,stimulants,various household cleaning and hardware chemicals.And finally preservatives from eating processed food. due to the fact Chefs and cooks hate to cook for themselves. Let us pray that the rehab goes well. He is set to be room mates with George Zimmerman at rehab. So Chef will be well protected.

Cops,Chefs,CEO's,Clerrgy, four of the top ten professions of psychopaths

Chef and CEO were sitting in the "indie gourmet "dive"huffing Red Rustoleum spray paint, from a plastic bag. The three Marmitons were present as well. Felix was berating and bashing Dewey's slumped one eyed form over the head. Dewey had been dry humping a plant in the corner. He soon turned to take a rolled menu and smack Carl was well. Who was busy pleasuring himself to professional wrestling. Suddenly Felix saw a van pull up out the window. And a line of what appeared to be unkempt homeless people. They were getting bowls of Ravioli from an old man dressed in a chef coat. Two college age girls were pulling large rubber tubs of it from the van. Dewey alerted Chef and the Ceo of this. It was decided to take advantage of a local law forbidding the assembly and feeding of vagrants. Chef and Ceo wanted that ravioli. To be the next days special. For nothing is lost in the name of food cost. Bonus! Bonus! Bonus! trickles up the management chain. Ceo calls the police.
A few moments later two armored police vehicles arrive. One of which runs over a woman pushing a stroller flat. Without notice. 20 militarized cops jump out. Chef and Ceo instruct them on what is going  on. A cop walks up to the old man in the Chef coat."You! Drop Plate now!". Dropping the plate the old man explains that he is a minister feeding the homeless. Doing the work of God. The cops cuff him. And stand him against a wall. Suddenly in well executed move out of nowhere. The two young women throw down glass tubes. A gas permeates the air from the tubes. Suddenly the cops start dry humping the air. Cries of "Me must fuck!" are everywhere. The girls grab the old man and jump in the van during the confusion. The cops in their lustful heat. Brutally grab Chef, Ceo, and the three Marmitons and have their loving ways with them. All recorded by passersby. And all over the net as we speak.
The minister later made a statement, that the glass tubes contained female pheromones in high doses. Causing the lower iq'd police officers whose reptile brains are more dominant to have to have sex. Thus allowing their escape.
Chef, Ceo, and the Cops 3 of the top 10 professions attracted to Psychopaths. Forgot that Clergy were on the list.

Food Trollip Gets Her Wish

Today we have a guest post from the Taste Trollip.

Oh my God. I was so happy, elated and excited to finally get to bag Chef. The greatest culinary talent on the block of similar over priced hipster Haute' haunts.
I was building to a crescendo of lust. Anticipating the finely toned arms from cutting veggies all day. The rock hard abs, and solid legs from standing all day. Sometimes things are not what they seem OMG.

He lived in a sleeping room. With a common bath in the hallway of the rooming house. Freaks running amok in the halls. His room, littered with empty Steel Reserve and Earthquake Malt Liquor cans. Syringes all about. Cigarette butts in mounds. A pizza box that I believe he had done a dookie in OMG. 
His body not what I wanted. Skinny fat, dried reptille skin that flaked scabs, boils, pus all about. For only being 28 he was like 98. And then the sex. Awful. OMG. He could not perform. Until he finally melted down a little blue pill in a spoon. Then he was done in 60 seconds. 

The next morning , I asked if he would cook me breakfast on his hot plate. He screamed that he is Chef, not a lowly line cook or Marmiton. His job is not to cook but to run the kitchen. He then put a pack of pop tarts in a toaster oven. I balked and next thing I know woke up with a broken toaster next to my bleeding , hurting head. In his nasty room alone. I will never eat out again, and have changed my ways.