Wednesday, December 31, 2014

From the desk of P.O.O.P.

Plutocratic Oligarchs Oblivious to the Public.

It has come to our attention in recent times that profits are taking a hit. The public is getting smart to civil forfeiture as well as excessive ticketing. Due to this fact. 

It was once thought that by lowering IQ standards for police recruits. That we could save money by under paying, and increase municipal profit. Also by passing laws in so called faux Patriot Acts. Up profits by legalizing these buffoons to commit theft upon any citizen they stop.  These buffoons are so stupid. That they are dominated by the mostly dormant(in higher iq groups)reptile lower brain. Therefore unable to control violent tendencies, and sexual urges. As seen with all the recent killing of suspects in misdemeanor arrest stops. Sparking protest, which these morons have forgotten is still legal, until we fix that. So they brutalize protestors but run from the armed looters that show up. Giving our institutions a bad name, causing stocks and profits to plummet. 

Another problem, the lack of control of sexual urges. Protest groups are using concentrated female pheromone bombs, as well as naked female streakers. Causing the officers to go into a mass heat, and have sexual intercourse with everything that has or can be made to have an oraface. This is unacceptable.

Recently 20 police officers fell for this ruse. And in doing so failed to follow orders of a corporate officer. Failed to secure the interest of corporate profit(the ravioli). And sexually assaulted a CEO, and 3 pieces of corporate property. These 20 officers have been rounded up, and destroyed by the new laser mounted on the USS Ponce. Which at approximately .59 cents per shot. Was very cost effective as punishment. 

Meanwhile. We are looking into Chinese made Depo Provera. Used mainly as a birth control method. In females. When injected into males, it causes a form of chemical induced castration. For about 90 days. We will tell the officers they are steroids. This should foil the pesky protest groups.

Thank You.

P.O.O.P.


Monday, December 1, 2014

This is for all those who are stuck in food service and box store retail bullshit, despite getting an education. Fuck CEO

http://youtu.be/MsE5NAAU39k

Chef a short bio

Oh Chef. A life in brief. For the upcoming treatment on Celebrity Rehab.

Our friend Chef. A devout follower of the original FOOD Network. Thought that it would be easy, breezy. 2 years in culinary school, and rock star status and big bucks. Not so. More a twisted tragedy. All too common in the field of food.

When chef first started, he was a married Christian with two kids. A classic nuclear family at age 20. Things did not bode well at first. 60 grand in loans for school and feeding said family. And upon graduation hired as line cook. For 10 dollars per hour. Chef over time went into a state of degeneration. For he was determined not to be one of the fabled 3/4 of culinary grads that change careers. Within 5 years of leaving school.

The cuts, the burns, the stress, the real Chef, and Sous Chef constantly yelling, and using physical violence on the staff. This appealed to his repressed desires. And the fact that when you finally become Chef you only cook to show off on tv. The Sous Chef below Chef cooks a little on the line but not much. Plus the constant drug use, and drinking on the job, and sex with loose servers in walk in coolers was amazing. And that was just as a line cook. When the Chef and Sous Chef finally overdosed on Rustoleum spraypaint. Line Cook Became Chef. And groupies known as foodies would give him drugs and sex.

Chef finally learned the business end. When Ceo told him and the General Manager to instruct the Marmitons(chef assistants/dish washers) to obtain food in nightly thieving raids. This Viking/Mongolish behavior appealed to Chef. And not spending much on food cost. Results in a bonus check that gets larger as it ascends the corporate ladder. Sometimes Chef using his bit of celebrity. simply would walk in to a local supermarket. Fill a shopping cart with food and booze. And simply walk out. And the store management would dare not abuse a celebrity. For he would occasionally due a cooking demo there. That attracted customers. Increasing their bonus as well.

Also Chef learned to get a labor cost bonus. By firing all legal documented workers, and exploiting undocumented refugees and such. Basically a form of indentured servitude. 5 dollars per hour under the table. Sometimes just 200 dollars flat, for unlimited hours a week. When off course anyhow the fine 75 dollar and up a plate establishment paid in rubber checks mostly anyhow. Chef was paid in drugs a lot, and lived in a rooming house.

To sum it up. Chef lost his family and his formal life on a lie, a fraud a scam. And wound up sexually assaulted by 20 police officers. In a food cost scam gone awry. Which resulted in high medical bills. And Chef being fired. Luckily we have picked him up to be on Celebrity Rehab.