Chef and his three Marmitons sat inside the now closed establishment. The CEO of the restaurant group that actually owned the "indie" spot was on hand. He was laying out plans for the upcoming local and state wide elections. Chef was to have dinner made for both the Democrat and Republican candidates. As CEO explained why.
"Chef no matter who wins, we will win. Our company has donated to the campaigns of both sides." Chef snorted a line of coke as he listened more intently. "So no matter who wins, we will get rid of that pesky health department,
labor board, and immigration fuckers."
"So my, uh your bonus will go up for food and labor cost. " Chef hissed as he cooked heroin in a spoon.
"Are the Honduran kids being taught line cooking basics at the orphanage? The one we ah, donated money toward."
"Why yes. You are to start firing all American kitchen staff. One by one over the next few weeks." spouted the CEO.
"Nothing is lost for food cost!!!" went the Chef's credo.
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Crack Head Erratic Fuckup
If only the fantasy they call the Food Network were real. Here we offer the real dysfunctional world of a C.H.E.F. in the shady industry of semi-fine to fine dining......
Dinner service was at full capacity. C.H.E.F. screamed and yelled from the expo station. "Move those fucking checks. You God damned fucking rotten pieces of shit." Bethany a server came up to the expo station. Needing to modify an order, C.H.E.F. turned about and yelled. "You fucking whore! You are slowing down my ticket times, raising my food cost!" She cried "I'm sorry they want no bordelaise. " "Ah, bullshit, that contains the very essence of my innards." he exclaimed as he grabbed a plate from the window. "As for you. We shall see in my office how badly you want your job! No place else will hire you. You will be black balled, bitch!" Quickly she scurried away in tears.
Mack Wu a line cook.Tall, fat, half Asian, was yelling at another server over a ticket modification. "C.H.E.F. wants it that way. That way I must do." C.H.E.F. noticed Mack. And grabbing a hot cup of coffee from a passing server's tray tossing it's contents into Mack's face burning it. "Wu, you fat gangly dirt bag piece of shit. Shut the fuck up, I am the priest of Escoffier not you, know your place in the Brigade de Cuisine. You fat sorry dong huffing jack off." Pulling a small cheap .25 caliber from his pants pocket."I love you Alphonso." his last words. Mack emptied a few shots into the side of his head Without missing a beat. "Carl, Dewey, Felix, get up here." Three dishwashers appeared from the back. "You two put his fat ass on ice. Mongolian beef is in our future menu specials." C.H.E.F. yelled at Carl and Dewey. "You run his station until we bottom out. Now Felix." he said as he grabbed another plate from the window. "Show must go on, no loss in food cost!" and C.H.E.F. kept yelling for food.
Dinner service was at full capacity. C.H.E.F. screamed and yelled from the expo station. "Move those fucking checks. You God damned fucking rotten pieces of shit." Bethany a server came up to the expo station. Needing to modify an order, C.H.E.F. turned about and yelled. "You fucking whore! You are slowing down my ticket times, raising my food cost!" She cried "I'm sorry they want no bordelaise. " "Ah, bullshit, that contains the very essence of my innards." he exclaimed as he grabbed a plate from the window. "As for you. We shall see in my office how badly you want your job! No place else will hire you. You will be black balled, bitch!" Quickly she scurried away in tears.
Mack Wu a line cook.Tall, fat, half Asian, was yelling at another server over a ticket modification. "C.H.E.F. wants it that way. That way I must do." C.H.E.F. noticed Mack. And grabbing a hot cup of coffee from a passing server's tray tossing it's contents into Mack's face burning it. "Wu, you fat gangly dirt bag piece of shit. Shut the fuck up, I am the priest of Escoffier not you, know your place in the Brigade de Cuisine. You fat sorry dong huffing jack off." Pulling a small cheap .25 caliber from his pants pocket."I love you Alphonso." his last words. Mack emptied a few shots into the side of his head Without missing a beat. "Carl, Dewey, Felix, get up here." Three dishwashers appeared from the back. "You two put his fat ass on ice. Mongolian beef is in our future menu specials." C.H.E.F. yelled at Carl and Dewey. "You run his station until we bottom out. Now Felix." he said as he grabbed another plate from the window. "Show must go on, no loss in food cost!" and C.H.E.F. kept yelling for food.
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